Want it So Bad | March 4, 2009

[All photos from Unsplash]

This is a serial telling of my falling-in-love story. Read the story from the very beginning here.

I lie in bed, staring at my revolving ceiling fan, shadows flickering on the popcorn ceiling in my aunt and uncle’s guest bedroom. My friend Steve and I talk late on the phone; he in Chicago, still taking classes, I in Colorado. Steve was one of my best friends at college – well, he was first my crush, until he told me he was gay. Then we really became friends.

I tell him about my work, about bible study, and you – all about you.

He tells me about classes, about mutual friends, about his own crushes, and we reach the pause at the end of a conversation that signals the moment to hang up. That’s when I ask him – “Steve, do you think I’ll get married one day?”

Steve stays silent for while, and I hear him breathing into the receiver on the other end.

After ten seconds, I say, “Well, I think I will because God’s words have to be fulfilled. And I think God has told me I’ll get married.”

Steve says, “Liz, have I told you about my aunt Nancy?”

“I’m not sure,” I say. “Would I have met her at school?”

“Probably not,” he says. “I bring her up because she’s 50 and single. But she believes that God told her at one point that she would get married some day, and she is still waiting for God to come through on that promise. But so far, it’s not looking good.” He pauses to let his point sink in.

Then he says, “If I were God, I would make you wait a few years before I’d let you get married.”

Defiant, I ask, “Oh, yeah? Why?”

He says, “Well, because you want it so bad.”

I almost gasp. The words hang.

Then Steve says, “I was going to say some bullshit about your ‘ministry,’ Liz, but that just came out of my mouth, and I think it’s a better answer. And I don’t think it’s me who gave it.”

I am writing and serially publishing scenes from my falling-in-love memoir, about the anguished, beautiful, and spiritual way that my husband and I met, fell in love, and married.

Read the next in the series. Read the story from the very beginning here.

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About Liz Grant

Published author. Married to an artist. Two kids. Lives in a brick house in Denver, Colorado. Follower of Jesus. Find me on Instagram @elizcharlottegrant.

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